Total Drama Mayhem!
by Unfathomed Stars
Summary: Chris and Chef are back on the island with 27 brand new contestants! Who will make friends? Who will fall in love? Who will grow to hate each other? Who will boost our ratings? And who will take home one million dollars? Find out right here, right now, on Total... Drama... Mayhem!
1. Flagging Down Trouble, Part 1

**Author's Note: ****I know that an OC fic, especially such a long one, is a bit outside what I normally write. But I figured I can write the TD characters well now, and I might as well expand! Stick with this chapter. I know there'a A LOT of intros, but part two will be a lot more in depth with the personalities. Review, tell me what you thought! I appreciate feedback:) Enjoy!**

*The camera pans to show Chris McLean, standing on the edge of the Dock of Shame. He flashes his trademark white grin straight into the lens, and his voice echoes loudly across the still water*

"Last season, on Total... Drama... All Stars..." he booms, "Our competitors faced off for one million dollars. However, that little idiot Mike won the money, so we blew up the island to avoid giving it to him! Of course, that was just a decoy to screw with their stupid heads! The island is fully intact, but in other news, the supermarket is clear out of Diet Coke and Mint Mentos. Anyway, after that, we decided that those competitors were boring. We've seen them for five seasons, and there isn't much left to see! That's why this season there will be all new contestants! No old faces will be returning," he says, winking cheekily at the camera. "Or so you might think! Either way it'll be all surprises, friendships, romances... but more likely, mind numbing hatred! Hey, you know which one is more fun to watch! Tune in for all that and more, this season, on Total...Drama... Mayhem!"

*theme song plays*

*camera pans back to Chris, who is gesturing to an approaching boat with dark figures seen hanging against the rails.*

"And there are our new contestants, getting their first glimpse of the island!" Chris laughed. "Don't they look terrified?"

*the boat stops, and a loading ramp rolls out.*

"First up we have George!" Chris said, smiling sadistically at the dark haired boy descending from the boat.

"Chris McLean!" George said, smiling a grin sadistic enough to match Chris's. "Good to see you, man!" The sadistic grin disappeared as quickly as it came, replaced by a normal, friendly, smile.

"They aren't supposed to be confident," Chris said uncertainly. "Chef!" he hissed into his walkie talkie. "Give me a wimpy one next! We need to balance this out!"

"And you," he added, pointing to George with a frown, "wait over there."

The boy nodded at stood at the end of the dock, dusting off his black hat before watching the next contestant come off.

"Next up is Juliet!" A pretty girl with long brown hair abad dark eyes bounded down the ramp.

"Hi Chris!" she said, shaking his hand energetically. "This is going to be fun!"

"Fun?" he said, horrified. "Have you even watched the past seasons? Toxic waste! Deadly challenges! Does that sound fun?"

"Kinda, yeah," she said, approaching George. "Hi, how are you? I'm Juli, I think we met on the boat?"

"Yeah," he said bemused. "Juli. Hi."

While this exchange was occurring, Chris was hissing into the walkie talkie once again. "I asked for a wimp!"

"She's wearing a "make love, not war,' shirt!" Chef's voice said, crackling through the microphone. "That sounds wimpy to me!"

Chris hung up, shoving it away. "Moving on, we have Jeremy! How's it going, dude?"

"Good," he mumbled, not meeting Chris's eyes. His black eyes were fixated anywhere but at the camera.

"Okay," the host said. "Not one for chit chat I see! Go next to the other contestants!"

Jeremy walked over silently. As Juli opened her mouth in greeting, he knocked his foot on a wooden plank sticking up slightly. As he went sprawling, Juliet and a second later George ran to help.

"You okay, man?" George asked, helping him up.

"Thanks," he said. "I'm Jeremy."

"Enough with the name game! There's literally three of you!" Chris said. "Say hello to DJ! Wait, DJ? Sorry dude. That name's taken," he said, to the confused blonde boy approaching him.

"So should I leave, or..." DJ said, playing with the drawstrings on his unzipped blue hoodie.

"Should we send him home... Nah. I'll be nice. But it's a one time thing! Tell me, what does the D stand for?

George snorted, and Juli punched him in the arm.

"Donny."

"Okay! Your new name is Donny!"

"Actually, my parents gave me that-"

"Nope! I did!" Chris said satisfied. "Goodness, naming them already. They're like my children."

"Like anyone would want to have kids with you," George mumbled.

"Hey! I had a kid! He interned here. I wonder what happened to him," he said, winking again. "Anyway Donny, over at the dock."

He joined the other contestants.

"That no one wanting to have kids with me comment is blowing my vibe. Chef! Bring out the one that called me hot on her form!" he yelled.

A beautiful girl with bright red hair and bangs slowly walked off of the boat.

"Hot damn," she said quietly. "Christopher McLean."

"See, why can't they all worship me like that!" he said happily. "Brittany! I like you. It's a shame I'll have to set you on fire at least once this season."

"Sadism is attractive," she mumbled, moving beside George.

"Why, hello," he started, until she interrupted.

"Move. I'm watching this."

"This," was Chris, giving an uncertain looking boy a bone crushing hug. "Ian! My man!"

Ian stepped back. He twisted his plain t shirt into a bunch before stuffing his hands in the pockets of his jeans. "Hi."

"Chatty, aren't we! You happy to be here?"

Ian shrugged. "I guess."

"Fascinating. Go stand with the others."

"Hello," Juli said, putting out her hand.

"Hey," he replied, running his hand through his slightly receding hairline.

"Nice to meet you!" she added cheerfully.

"Likewise."

Their conversation was cut short as everyone noticed a boy with ginger hair exit the boat.

"Hey everyone!" he cheered, snapping a slow rhythm.

Ignoring all of the bewildered stares he was receiving, he kept the beat going.

As he reached the dock, he belted out a high C.

_"Consider yourself at home,_

_Consider yourself, one of the family._

_We've taken to you, so strong, _

_It's clear we're going to get along."_

As he finished, he took a bow. Juli, Ian, and Donny clapped, while the rest looked slightly concerned.

"Come on!" he asked brightly. "Oliver? The musical? Anyone?"

Chris pressed a button on his phone, and the sound of crickets chirping filled the air.

"No one?" he said. "When I win the million, I'm taking all of you to Broadway!"

"Which one are you?" Chris asked. "You're supposed to wait for me to introduce you! Trying to steal my thunder?"

"Nah, it's cool," the boy said, still smiling. "I'm Aaran with an A."

"Everyone knows that Aaran starts with an A," Brittany replied, rolling her eyes.

"No- the A comes after the- never mind," he finished quickly.

"And what makes you think you'll be the one taking home the money?" George asked, staring him down.

"We've all got a shot. But I have a couple tricks up my sleeve!" Aaran said, miming rolling his sleeves up.

"Right."

"If anyone takes another one of my introductions, you'll be swimming back to shore!***** Chris said irritably. "Next, say hello to Eric!"

"Hi everyone!" the attractive boy said, running his hands through his black ruffled hair.

"Hey, he looks like a younger Chris!" Brittany exclaimed.

"Pssttt," Chris said, whispering to Eric, "this is where you say thank you for the incredibly compliment! Although in honesty, I'm way hotter than you."

"True!" Brittany said.

"You can't hear me! I'm whispering!" he whined.

Eric rejoined the other contestants on the dock. "Dude, I love your sweatshirt," he said to Donny.

"Thanks, it's-"

"Kind of reminds me of Rainbow Dash's fur color," he said nonchalantly. After a second, his eyes widened and he clapped his hands over his mouth.

"What was that?" George said innocently, smirking at Eric's obvious slip up.

"Nothing," he stammered, beet red.

"Are you a brony?" Chris asked, laughing. "Thank god! Hang out with Trent. That guy was obsessed. He wouldn't shut up about it! This will get him off my back!"

"I'm not a brony," he said weakly.

"Sure you're not. Moving on! Everybody, meet Sarah!"

Sarah walked off the boat calmly, her face impassive. She wore a dark purple shirt and jeans, her mousy brown hair falling slightly past her shoulders.

"Is there any place to get coffee here? I'm a nightmare without caffeine," she said shortly.

"Um, for me! But for you, what do you think this is? A resort?"

She cast a disdainful glance around the island. "Obviously not."

"Offensive. Wait over there with the other contestants!"

"Oh, really. I thought I should wait in the water," she said sarcastically.

"Wouldn't care if you did," he muttered.

Sarah walked over, smiling shyly at the other competitors.

"Say hello to Daquan!" Chris boomed, giving the dark skinned boy that approached a fist bump. Daquan wore a shirt with the word 'Awesome' printed across the middle.

"Chris!" he greeted. He turned to the cluster of campers and walked over, eying each one in turn.

"Dark hair. No way," he said, pointing at Juli.

"Pimples."

When he got to Brittany, he stared at her chest intently, and just as she raised her hand to punch him, he jumped away. "Not my type."

The girls all rolled their eyes. "Hey Daquan. I'm Ian," Ian said, shaking his hand.

"'Sup."

He sidled up to George. "So when do the hot chicks get here?"

George looked at him incredulously. "They are here, dude. Have you seen Brittany? It's a shame she's into older guys."

"I said hot. I'm into blondes."

"You're never going to be into ANYBODY unless you lower your damn voice!"

"Jeez, touchy," Daquan said, throwing his hands up in the air.

"Conflict already! Love it!" Chris said, rubbing his hands together.

"The next person joining us will be Ana!" Chris said.

A freckly girl with big purple glasses stepped off of the boat.

"Hello everybody!" she said happily. "It's nice to be here!"

"Nice shirt," Juli said, pointing at her lavender tee.

"Thank you! So, how's the island? Is it gorgeous? It can't possible be as beautiful as it looks on TV, can it?" Ana asked quickly, surveying the dump before her. "Oh, it's even more beautiful!" She went down the line, abandoning hand shakes and giving quick hugs.

"Ana, right?" Aaron asked. "You seem friendly!"

"Definitely!" she giggled, holding onto his hand for a moment longer than necessary. He dropped it quickly, stepping slightly away.

"I did not realize we had 27 contestants this season!" Chris said into the walkie talkie. "I have to introduce all of them? That's going to eat up the whole episode! We can split it? Okay."

He hung up. "So apparently we have a hell of a lot of these to do! So be interesting quickly, people! Hear that, Seth?" he called to the blonde boy in a black button down that joined him on the edge of the dock.

"So," Seth said, surveying the other competitors. "This is what I'm up against."

"Scary, right?" Chris said, rolling his eyes at the group of confused teenagers.

"It's terrifying," he said dryly, joining the others.

"Sounds like you mean it too," Sarah added under her breath.

Seth stared at the ground, determined to avoid eye contact.

"Moving on, say hello to Zane!"

A skinny boy with brown hair and a Naruto shirt walked right past Chris and to the other contestants.

"Leave me hanging, okay. I see how it is," Chris said, wounded.

"Sorry, dude. Scoping out the competition," Zane called. "Hey all.**"

A chorus of hellos rung out.

"Wow, everyone is being so unexpectedly polite! I wonder how long it'll take for everyone to snap," Chris said with a grin.

They all shifted uncomfortably, sharing an uneasy glance before turning to the girl walking down the ramp.

"Watch out everybody! Here comes Meghan!" Chris exclaimed.

A pretty girl with light brown hair and an Adventure Time shirt approached the growing mob. She stared at them timidly, until Juli gave a gentle "Hi, Meghan."

"Hi," she said quietly, waving quickly and thrusting her hand away.

"Nice to meet you!" Ana added.

"Yo-you too," she stammered, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear.

She joined the group, hovering near the front until Juli kindly motioned to come next to her.

"Heartwarming! My guess is that the tall one will backstab the little on by episode four! If they that long," Chris bet perkily. "Next up, we have Wayne!"

A smart looking boy with chocolate colored skin, wire rimmed glasses, and buzz cut. His neon red sweatshirt contrasted with his dark mood.

"Hola," he said. "Me llamo Wayne. ¿Como estas?"

Chris waved his arms in the air wildly. "DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?" he screamed, jumping up and down.

"No hablo ingles," he said, looking confused.

"THIS SHOW IS FOR ENGLISH PEOPLE! DO YOU HEAR ME? ENGLISH! SWIM HOME BUDDY. THE WATER IS THAT WAY," he said, pointing.

"Woah, woah, woah," he said, in perfect English. "I was just screwing with you. It's cool."

"Not okay man," Chris growled.

"Jeez, sorry."

"Bro, that was epic!" George said, fist bumping him.

"Gracias."

"MOVING ON!" Chris said, now noticeably pissed off. "Next contestant! Get your ass out here!" He checked the list. "Pizza? Is this some sort of-"

He dialed Chef, speaking into the walkie talkie furiously. "Pizza? This is what the agency picked for us? Is this a prank?"

"No. The maggot won't answer to anything but Pizza," Chef said gruffly.

"What the-"

"Just roll with it."

"So should I come out, or-" a boy called from inside the boat.

"Whatever. Come out," Chris said, annoyed.

A boy with shoulder length blue hair with red streaks bolted down the steps. "Yo McLean!" he exclaimed, patting Chris on the back.

"Hey dude, what's your name?"

"Pizza!" Pizza said, completely nonchalant.

"Is there anything else we can call you? Literally anything? Like your real name, perhaps?"

"Pizza is my real name."

"Not on your birth certificate."

"I'm adopted," Pizza countered.

"Fine. We'll call you Pizza," he shuddered. "So greasy! Just...disgusting."

Pizza was already by the other contestants, pumping hands up and down and bumping fists.

"Time to move on," Chris said. "I'm bored to introduce Michelle!"

A girl with wavy brown hair sweeping across her forehead glared at the group. "What is up with your hair?" she asked Pizza bluntly.

"My hair? I was born with it like this," he said, bowing his head in shame.

No one looked convinced. He put his head down for a minute, then popped up. "Just kidding you!"

Michelle rolled her eyes, and moved as far away from him as humanely possible.

"Loving the tension!" Chris said, clapping his hands. "Next up, Trent!"

A boy with brown hair, a green hoodie, and Pokeball hat waved at everyone.

"Trent is already taken too!" Chris moaned. "What's with all of the repeated names?"

"Uh, I can just-"

"Nah, we'll call you-" Chris looked at his mint colored sweatshirt. "How about Green?"

"Sure," Green said, moving beside the others. "That's my favorite Pokeman anyway."

"Er, okay!" Chris said. "Say hello to Drake!"

The blue eyed boy smiled broadly. "Hi, everyone!" His spiked up brown hair resembled Mike from Revenge of the Island's and his blue shirt hung from his skinny body.

"What's the notebook?" Brittany said, nodding at the red spiral book that he was clutching firmly.

He held it protectively. "Don't touch it."

"Yeesh, fine. Real friendly," she said, moving away from him and next to Sarah.

"Meet Finn!" Chris said, as the blonde teen rubbed his goatee impatiently.

"Hey, Chris," he greeted loudly.

"Yo, Finn. We're short on time, so get your ass over there."

"Cool," he said, pumping the hands of the competitors as he walked down the row, humming ferociously.

"Hey, man," he said to Aaran.

"Hello! Boat ride okay? You seasick? You'll live," Aaran said, words overlapping each other.

"Hello to you too," Finn replied, bemused.

"This one'll be good!" Chris said, smirking. "Say hello to Autumn!"

A girl with brown hair in a loose French braid walked up, earning many stares. She wore blue, silver, and black sailor style corset with sleek stainless steel knobs in the back to hold it together. On her legs were old, worn, and ripped blue skinny jeans. Her height was only increased by her sparkly silver pumps. A large, fancy camera hung from her neck.

"Hi guys! I'm Audi!" she said, her voice happy.

"I like the camera," Zane said. "You into photography?"

"Big time," she replied, "which reminds me."

She whipped up the camera and snapped a picture of him and the other contestants.

"I want to remember this! Sue me!" she pouted.

Daquan elbowed George. "Quickly approaching my type."

"Okay! Next up is Jace!" Chris said, trying to return the attention to him.

"Hello," he said. "Glad to be here. You've probably heard of my uncle?"

He was greeted with blank stares.

"He's-"

"No one cares," Chris inturrupted.

"Fine," Jace said , brown eyes hurt. "But if I start acting, just know that I'm an actual actor and not masking medically inaccurate personalities like Mike from last season!"

"Good to know! Moving on, here's Aidan!"

A slightly chubby boy with bright green eyes in a blue polo shook his hand.

"Chris, hello." Aidan smiled slightly, but looked fairly nervous.

"Whatever. Go stand next to Ian."

The two boys exchanged shy smiles.

"Are you Ian?" Aidan asked.

"Erm, yes. Nice to meet you."

"Right back at you."

"Mila!" he yelled.

"What, no intro?" a pretty girl in skinny jeans and a crop top said. Her brown hair hung straight over her shoulders.

"Why are there no blondes? Why couldn't Lindsay compete?" Daquan moaned, looking for George. But George had long since moved away.

She stood beside Michelle, and the two girls gave each other warm glances. "You excited?" Mila whispered.

"Sort of. A little freaked. You?"

"You nailed it."

"Next, Morgan!"

The ginger boy walked out, hands in the pockets of his gray trousers.

"Hello!" he said excitedly.

"Too much of our time has gotten taken by these intros! Stand over there," Chris said, annoyed. Morgan shrugged and planted himself beside Juli.

"Hi!" she said.

"Hi, me? Oh, hello," he said, blushing furiously.

"Second to last, FINALLY! This is taking forever! Meet Kamari!"

A pudgy boy with a short goatee and brown hair stepped off of the boat. "Hey, competitors."

He walked the aisle, stopping next to Donny. "And you are?"

"DJ- erm, Donny."

"You forgot your own name? Wise," he said dryly.

"Long story."

"And finally! Because that dock is going to break any second- er, no, this whole island is structurally sound. Definitely. Anyway, here's Kayla!"

A tall Asian girl stepped off, clad in a pink shirt and baggy jeans.

"Hi everyone!" she said, voice full of energy. "Wow, there's a lot of people here. Am I the last one?"

"So are we done now?" Drake said, not answering.

"Yes! Finally!" Chris said. "Chef! Take the boat back!"

The large figure on top of the boat nodded and began to steer the large ship.

"Campers," Chris intoned somberly. "You will not be seeing mainland again until your run on Total Drama is over. And once you leave, you can't come back. Ever. But now, it's just starting. Time to get your teams."

The campers stared at each other anxiously.

"First up, the Undesirable Urchins! Joining me will be...

"George.

Brittany.

Ana.

Daquan.

Meghan.

Trent.

Jason.

Mila.

Aidan."

The nine campers joined Chris at the right of the dock.

"Team two! The Ridonculous Rodents! On this team, we have..."

"Juliet.

Jeremy.

Eric.

Sarah.

Zane.

Donny.

Drake.

Kamari.

Audi."

The campers followed his arm to the middle of the dock.

"And finally! On the Creepy Coconuts, or as I like to say the leftovers..."

"Ian.

Seth.

Michelle.

Wayne.

Pizza.

Finn.

Morgan.

Kayla.

Aaran."

"Get used to these people! They'll be your team until we merge. But not all of you will last until then! So get aquainted. If you remember from Total Drama All Stars, the Spa Hotel is for winners! The cabins are for the boring team, and the losers get the ground! So race to your cabin. It's the only night all of you will be in one of those!"

"Why are we racing?" Sarah asked. "We're all going to be in the cabins anyway?"

"Just go."

*camera pans to campers jogging to the cabins, some wheezing, some moving effortlessly*

*camera pans to the girl's side of the Urchin's cabin*

"Who's bunking with who?" Mila asked, tossing her luggage on the bed.

"Doesn't matter," Brittany said, shrugging. "I'll take top?"

"Sure."

"So I guess that leaves us," Ana said, smiling at Meghan.

"Awesome! You're on top?"

"Perfect."

They made their beds in silence for a minute, until Ana broke it. "So are you guys nervous?"

"Not really," Brittany said. "I've been watching for years and when I got a chance, I went for it. And Chris is definitely hotter in person."

"Chris?" Ana said, wrinkling her nose. "He's so old!"

Suddenly, a pillow flew across the room and smacked her in the face. "Don't go there."

"Sorry, I didn't know that-"

"We're done here, okay?"

*camera moves to the boy's side*

The boys threw their stuff down on the beds in silence.

"Can I take the single?" Daquan asked.

George nodded absentmindedly.

"Cool, it's better if I get a chick in here. Slim pickings though."

Aidan, Jace, and Trent looked up, annoyed, but George just glared.

CONFESSIONAL: GEORGE  
George: First one of the season, huh? My plan? Make friends, because having people is cool. But when I need to, I can backstab without blinking an eye. So watch out for me. That annoying ass Daquan is first.  
CONFESSIONAL OVER

CONFESSIONAL: DAQUAN  
Daquan: No competition. Exactly what I wants. The guys aren't as hot as me, and the girls aren't hot enough to be picky. I'm glad I got that single bed.  
CONFESSIONAL OVER

*camera pans to the girls side of the Rodents*

Audi grabbed the single bed. "You guys mind?"

"Not at all!" Juli said cheerfully. "You guys ready for the first challenge?"

"I don't know," Sarah began. "It depends if Chris is a sociopathic pervert with a death wish for us of an actual normal person. So our odds aren't looking good."

Juli and Audi looked worried for a second, but moved on.

"It's all for the money, right?" she continued.

CONFESSIONAL: SARAH  
Sarah: So I'm a bit of a pessimist. The world isn't all rainbows. If the others have a problem with that, well, I hope they don't.  
CONFESSIONAL OVER

*camera pans to the boys side of the Rodents*

"This is going to be tight," Zane said. "Six of us? That'll work."

"Dude, you wanna bunk?" Donny said.

"Sure."

Drake looked at Jeremy. "You up for it,"

"I'm-"

"Again?" Kamari said, amused, seeing Jeremy sprawled on the ground. "That's not normal."

"Yes it is!" Jeremy shouted from the floor. "I am too Normal! Normal could be my name!"

"Sure, Normal," Eric said. "K, you bunking with me?"

"K?"

"Sorry bro, can't pronounce your name."

"It's cool. Call me KT."

CONFESSIONAL: JEREMY  
Jeremy: I don't know, from the floor it sounded like there was bonding. How could I join? I was on the floor! Which is totally normal!  
CONFESSIONAL OVER

*camera pans to the girl's side of the Coconuts*

"This is a cozy bunk," Kayla said.

"At least we have room," Michelle replied, setting up her stuff on the bed.

"How awkward is it gonna be?"

"I would guess pretty awkward."

They exchanged smiles.

CONFESSIONAL: MICHELLE  
Michelle: Kayla seems nice enough. A little naive. She could be useful. I'll work on that.  
CONFESSIONAL OVER

*camera pans to the boy's side of the Coconuts*

"Top!" Aaran trilled.

"I'd break the top, so I got his bottom," Pizza joked.

Seth and Finn paired up, leaving Wayne, Morgan, and Ian.

"You want the top?" Morgan asked Wayne.

"You got it."

Ian stared uncomfortably.

CONFESSIONAL: IAN  
Ian: I'm not the best in social situations. It's just not who I am. But I'm hoping I'll warm up to these people. They're being a little exclusive, but I can live. Nothing I'm not used to.  
CONFESSIONAL OVER

*camera pans to the common area, where the load speaker whirred to life*

"COMPETITIORS! TO THE CAMPSITE! STAT!" Chris boomed.

*the screen slowly fades to black as the contestants file in*

*credits roll, then it pops back to life*

"Next time, on Total Drama Mayhem," Chris's voice said. "Attractions develop! Friendships form! Enemies become cemented! And there's a whole lotto hurt!"

*shows scenes of campers running around, swatting away small objects*

"Who will rise? Who will fall? And who will wet themselves? Find out all of this and more, next time on Total... Drama... Mayhem!"

***ironically, the elimination device in Total Drama Screen Stealers vs. Underdogs, my competition fic collab with Wish I Was a Pirate. (Who was the beta reader for this chapter as well. Check out his stuff!)**

**** some of you will get this. **

**Author's Note: Wow, those intros took a very long time to write! Hope it didn't bore you to tears. Again, next chapter will develop the contestants much more. Either way, I hope you enjoyed meeting the 27 (!) new contestants and stay tuned for the update!**


	2. Flagging Down Trouble, Part 2

**Author's Note: Back with a fairly quick update! If the character you like doesn't get much screentime, I pinky promise that they will next chapter:3 so enjoy and please review!**

*camera pans to Chris McLean, standing on the Dock of Shame*

"Last time, on Total... Drama...Mayhem!" he said, "we met our 27 new competitors! Friendships began to form! Rivalries began to bloom! And the season has only just begun! In the second part of our two part beginning, you'll see the contestants battle it out in our very first challenge! Who will thrive? Who will stumble? No matter what, it'll _bee_ dramatic! So tune in right here, right now, for Total... Drama... Mayhem!"

*theme song plays*

*camera pans to the campsite, where the contestants are seated*

Chris swaggered up, bullhorn in his hand.

"So campers, all settled in? Bunks okay? How are you all getting long?" he asked, mock concern dripping from his voice.

No one answered, and he flipped the horn's switch all of the way up. "SO WHO'S EXCITED FOR THE CHALLENGE?" he screamed, loudly enough to make all of the contestant's hair fly back.

"TALKING IN A LOUD VOICE IN NO WAY ESTABLISHES POWER, IT JUST MAKES YOU SOUND LIKE AN ARROGANT ASSHOLE!" George screamed back.

"Oh, you guys have a lot to learn. I _am_ an arrogant asshole!" he said, beaming. "And my hair is fantastic! But to the challenge."

Juli elbowed Sarah. "You ready?" she asked, voice mixed with fear and excitement.

"Overjoyed," she said dryly. "Let's hope he's sick of toxic waste."

"Thanks to the Canadian authorities, toxic waste isn't allowed on the show. We're being closely monitored, they have teams ready to haul my ass back to prison, whatever. So no toxic waste."

Sighs of relief were heard. "Hey! That doesn't mean the challenges are going to at all easier. Like this one! Because of how many of you the idiot producers let onto the show, there are three teams. Which kind of blew the capture the flag idea out of the water...but we found a solution! Each team will be given a flag, which will then be hidden somewhere in your team's section of the camp. The goal is to be the last team with your flag hidden. But there's a catch!"

Groans echoed across the camp. "We all know about your catches, Chris," KT said, annoyed. "Can you just tell us the rest already?"

"Fine," Chris said. "If you cross into another team's territory and they can pin you down, you are forced to go with them to their team's base. The only way to get out is to make a break for it. Urchins have the bunks, Rodents have the lake and forest, and Coconuts, fittingly, get the leftovers. There's tape markings."

"Could be worse!" Aaron said brightly.

"Not finished!" Chris sang happily. "Did I mention that the flags are electric? Touch it and you'll get zapped! It won't kill you, but it'll fry you up pretty nicely. And make a loud noise, which will alert their team and give them the chance to take back their flag before you get it out of their territory!"

"Shocking!" Pizza said, earning a high five from Aaron.

Chris produced three flags from behind a stump.

"Hey, why aren't you getting shocked?" Audi asked.

"Didn't turn them on yet! For the Urchins..." he said, handing the red flag to Brittany.

She leaned toward him. "This isn't the only pole I'm good at handling," she said, keeping her eyes on his.

"Not- what did-" he said, teeth clenched. "Here," he said, shoving the purple Rodent flag at Zane and the yellow Coconut flag at Ian, who merely stared at it. "JUST GO!" he yelled, and the campers took off.

*camera pans to the cabins, where the Urchins are huddled*

"Anybody have a game plan?" Trent asked.

"We could put it in the bathrooms," Ana offered. "They're too disgusting to be searched properly."

"But that means one of us would have to stay there with it," Jason said. "It smells too bad in there to put anyone through that."

"We could put it in Chris's trailer," Brittany said. "I've been meaning to take a look around there."

"Yeah, we're not blowing this challenge for your ridiculous Chris fantasies," George replied. "How about we just put it under someone's bed?"

CONFESSIONAL: GEORGE

George: Brittany seemed cool at first, but she's annoying now. Any idiot could see that a person caught in Chris's trailer will be busted big time. We're not risking that. And with her on our team, it's a predictable spot anyway. Put it somewhere nice and easy where they'll easily overlook.

CONFESSIONAL OVER

"Under someone's bed works," Aidan said.

Mila picked up the flag, shoved it under her bed, and covered the opening with clothes. "They'll never find it," she said, satisfied.

CONFESSIONAL: MILA

Mila: Although he can come off as a bit of a jerk, George has some good ideas. He's gonna be competition.

CONFESSIONAL OVER

*camera pans to the lake, where the Rodents are perched on the dock with their feet dangling in the water*

"Can't we just make a snorkel and sit with it underwater, like Leshawna did in Total Drama Island?" Eric said.

"No, dumbass, we'd be electrocuted," Zane said.

"Right. Forgot about that," Eric said sheepishly.

"It's cool. Can anyone climb a tree?" Donny asked. "We have the forest, and high ground might be our best bet."

"I can!" Jeremy said brightly.

"Really?" Kamari asked, trying to keep the disbelief out of his voice. "You'd kill yourself, Normal."

"Just screwing with you," Jeremy said, smirking. "No way in hell would I do that."

"Okay, just making sure," Drake replied calmly. "Anyone else?"

"I can," Audi offered. "How high are we talking?"

Juli focused her gaze on a tall tree with a thick canopy. "That high?"

Audi followed her stare and slowly nodded. "Yeah. That's climbable."

CONFESSIONAL: AUDI

Audi: Okay, maybe I have a slight height issue. Very slight. But Zane looked pissed at the lack of ideas, and I maybe thought...I don't even know what I was thinking.

CONFESSIONAL OVER

*camera pans to the Coconuts, sitting at the table in the mess hall*

"How about we just hide it under the table and put a lot of guards out to watch it?" Michelle said.

"They'd notice," Wayne replied.

"How about the amphitheater?*****" Aaran suggested excitedly. "The stage is beaconing us!"

"Where would it go?" Seth said, bored.

"I could fly it to the rafters!" Pizza said happily. "Piece of cake!"

"Okay," Kayla squeaked. "Let's try it out."

CONFESSIONAL: KAYLA

Kayla: I'm trying my absolute best to speak up in team discussions, but it's really hard! Michelle is trying though. I think she's nice? I hope she likes me. Am I rambling? I'm not rambling, am I? Oh, I am rambling! Sorry!

CONFESSIONAL OVER

*camera pans to Audi's face, then pans out and shows a view of the tall pine tree*

"You sure you can do this?" Zane said, putting his hand on her shoulder comfortingly.

She stared at his hand, then at the tree. Her face morphed from fear to firm resolve. "Yeah. Yeah I can."

She took the flag from Zane, and carefully began to scale the tree.

The team cheered, until Donny shushed them. "We can't let the other teams know our position!"

Audi kept climbing, until she was about 100 feet up. Her face began to turn green, but she continued her ascent.

Suddenly, the flag turned blindingly white.

"Holy- Argh!" she screamed, fingers red from the shock.

"Just put it there!" Juli called. "You're high enough!"

Audo descended, shaking like a leaf.

Zane patted her on the back as her feet touched the ground. "Nice. I would've dropped that."

"Well I'm obviously steadier than you," she replied, grinning.

"Steady? Your knees are literally knocking together."

"Shut up."

CONFESSIONAL: ZANE

Zane: Audi? That took guts... She's a cool girl.

CONFESSIONAL OVER

*camera pans to Pizza on top of the amphitheater rafters*

"Okay, now toss me the flag!" he yelled, waiting for the throw.

Morgan tossed it up, missing Pizza by mere feet. He tried again, this time missing by inches. As he moved his arm back in preparation for the next throw, the flag whirred to life, shocking him. It flew out of his hand, hitting Finn in the kiwis.

"ARGHH!" he bellowed, clutching his crotch. "Really dude?"

"Sorry," Morgan said distractedly. He threw it up, careful not to touch the buzzing pole, and miraculously, Pizza latched on to it. He laid it carefully on the top, and swung down like a monkey.

"Is he on drugs?" Seth asked, not as quietly as he could have.

"I'm high on happy!" Pizza sang, wrapping Seth into a one armed hug.

"Wonderful."

*camera pans to the Urchins, standing in a clump on the bunk steps.

George stood up and faced everybody. "Ana, Jason, and Mila. You guys guard. Aidan, Meghan, Trent, you're the diversion. Brittany, Daquan, and myself will be on the offensive."

"Who put you in charge?" Daquan said loudly.

"Have a better plan?"

They glared at each other, but Daquan dropped the matter.

The squads split up, defensive squatting behind the cabin and the other two walking cautiously into the forest.

She looked at her teammates. "Maybe we should split up? Cover more ground."

George and Trent exchanged glances. "I guess that's a good idea. Know your jobs," Trent said.

"Good luck." With that, they all parted ways.

*camera pans to the figures retreating into the woods, then moves to show Brittany hopping into a canoe and paddling furiously in the direction of Chris's cottage*

*camera pans to Zane, Audi, and Donny walking through the campsite*

"They have the campsite, the amphitheater, the dodgeball courts... It really could be anywhere," Donny said.

"Guys, be quiet for a second," Audi said.

Donny looked at her questionably, but Zane shook his head. They stood in silence, until a faint buzzing became heard.

Zane gave Audi a high five. "Smart! It's coming from the amphitheater!"

She grinned, and they ducked behind a bush and began to move near the stage.

*camera pans to the Coconuts, behind the amphitheater*

"We could just stay here," Aaran suggested. "We can easily catch anyone who makes a move for the flag."

"True," Wayne said. "How about we keep five here, let's say Aaran, Michelle, Kayla, Pizza, and me, and the other four go look for other flags?"

"Sounds good," Finn replied. He gestured to the other three on search duty. They stood up, and without another word, began to move through the forest.

*camera pans back to Zane, Audi, and Donny*

The whirring sound amplified as they reached the stage. When they got close, it became easy to see the little part of the pole sticking out from the top.

"Climbing? Audi, guess you're up," Donny said, gesturing to the beam.

Her face turned ashen. "Sure, um-"

Zane looked at her white face, then at the ground. "You know what? I got this one."

"Really?" she said gratefully. "Because I could-"

"I got it," he said firmly.

CONFESSIONAL: DONNY

Donny: Damn it, both of them are adorable. And he definitely likes her... Shame really. Although they are cute together.

CONFESSIONAL OVER

*camera pans to the group of Coconuts behind the stage*

"Should we go pin them now?" Aaran whispered.

"Yeah-" Michelle started.

"No," Kayla said, cutting her off. Everyone turned to her in surprise.

"Excuse me?" Michelle said incredulously.

"No," she said more clearly. "We wait till Zane reaches the top of the pole. Then he has no way out. One of us will trap him and the rest can surround Donny and camera girl."

Once again, the group looked at her in surprised silence.

"Um, sounds good," Wayne said. "Good idea Kayla."

CONFESSIONAL: KAYLA

Kayla: And that is what I call an idea! *she nods excitedly* And a good one, too!

CONFESSIONAL OVER

*camera pans to the George and Trent walking through the forest*

"Maybe in a hole or something?" Trent guessed.

"Nah, that's an awful place. Even though there is an unnatural amount of random ditches here."

They walked in silence, listening for the whirr but hearing nothing.

"Hey, where'd Brittany run off to?" George said suddenly.

"No clue."

*camera pans to Zane, who is almost at the top of the amphitheater*

"Almost there!" Audi shouted, then clapped her hands over her mouth. "Sorry. Forgot."

Donny put a finger to his lips, and gave Zane a thumbs up.

Zane reached the top, the crackling flag in view. He pulled his shirt over his head nonchalantly, balled it up, and carefully reached for the flag with the fabric as protection.

Audi watched wide eyed, eyes darting from the flag to Zane's bare chest.

All of a sudden, a piercing shriek rang from the back of the theatre. Aaron jumped on top of Donny before he had a chance to react, and Kayla and Michelle took Audi. Both were pinned to the ground within seconds.

"Yes!" Michelle cheered.

Chris's voice rang from the speakers. "Audi and Donny are now the Coconut's prisoners!"

The three Coconuts grabbed the pair's arms and led them backstage. They set up camp on the stage's steps, glaring.

"Shit," Zane said. "You're not going to let me down, are you?"

"Nope," Aaran said cheerfully.

"Wonderful," the stranded boy muttered.

*camera pans to Finn, Ian, Seth, and Morgan walking into the bathrooms*

"Any chance it's in here?" Finn said.

"Listen for the electricity," Morgan replied. They listened, and heard a faint buzzing behind the shower curtain.

"I hear it!" Ian said, smiling. They approached the stall, and yanked the curtain back.

Not a flag was in sight. "What-" Finn said.

"I swear I heard it," Morgan added, stepping into the shower. A sickening crunch was heard.

"Was that-"

A swarm of bees erupted from the hive in the corner of the shower. The cloud moved toward them, buzzing angrily.

"SHIT!" Seth yelled, swatting at the bugs. The quartet ran out, closely followed by the swarm. They ran out as fast as their legs could carry them, passing the cabins and straight into the lake.

CONFESSIONAL: FINN

Finn: Beehives don't magically appear at the bottom of shower stalls. That was planted. But what sadist would be sick enough to do that? I'm sure as hell going to find out.

CONFESSIONAL OVER

The boy paced the cabins, listening outside each door. When he reached the Urchin's female cabin, he heard the telltale buzz. "Too easy."

He followed the electronic hum, tracing it to Mila's bed. He removed a pile of clothes, grabbed a pink crop top, put it over his hand, and reached for the whirring pole.

With a smirk, Finn removed it and moved to leave.

"SURPRISE!"

A shriek was heard from the top bunk. Finn booked it out of the door, the person scrambling after him.

CONFESSIONAL: DAQUAN

Daquan: Okay, maybe I took the splitting up as an opportunity to hang out in the girl's bunk! Some of them have hot taste in bras. I kinda zoned out, and let that Finn kid take the flag...

CONFESSIONAL OVER

Finn raced out, the tape to his team's segment in view.

"GOTCHA!" Daquan yelled, aiming to tackle him.

Without even thinking, Finn jabbed the flag behind him. The other boy's hair stood up, and he crumpled to the floor.

Smiling victoriously, Finn crossed the line and pumped his fists in the air.

"And Finn has secured captured the Urchin's flag!" Chris said over the PA system.

George ran up, alerted by the yells. His eyes instantly fell on Daquan laying on the ground.

"Dude, what happened?" he asked.

"I don't know... Finn just attacked me," Daquan said weakly.

"No he didn't!" Chris blasted loudly. "Daquan here was sniffing Brittany's lacy bra instead of guarding, and he let Finn take the flag right under his nose!"

"What the hell?" George asked incredulously.

"It smelled good," Daquan said, before collapsing again.

George shook his head. "Whatever man, just get it together."

With that, he sped off.

CONFESSIONAL: GEORGE

George: That idiot... And perv! Sniffing bras? This guy has to go. But Brittany disappeared from thin air and is much more of a threat... I'm already carrying this team! I can think of ideas that they just can't. Like a bees nest? Who else could have thought of that! And where the hell did the guards go? We're going to get picked off like flies unless we get it together.

CONFESSIONAL OVER

*camera pans to Donny and Audi, huddled backstage*

"We gotta get out of here," Audi said urgently.

"I know," Donny replied. "But we're a teeny bit stuck."

"Poor Zane," she added, shaking her head. "He's still on the roof."

Both of them looked at him thoughtfully.

As Donny stared up, an idea came to him. "What about we-" he whispered into Audi's ear.

As he explained his plan, Audi's face slowly lit up. "Nothing to lose," she said, eyes sparkling.

*camera pans to the stage steps, where the Coconuts stood guard*

Before anyone had a chance to react, Donny sped out, running in a circle. The guards instantly leapt up in pursuit.

With the guard's attention diverted, Audi crept out, waving wildly. Zane met her eyes. She mimed throwing, and he nodded. He threw his shirt down, and she caught it, followed immediately by the flag. She sped away towards their team's territory.

Her hopes of getting out undetected were in vain, as the guards were alerted by the loudening buzz of electricity. Aaran and Michelle noticed her, Michelle's face crumpling in anger. They ran after Audi, shortening her lead until they were almost neck and neck.

"Come on," Michelle grunted, as Audi darted from tackling range. She made a wild grab for her, but was stopped in midair.

"I would stop here," Zane said, grinning widely.

Audi crossed into the Rodent's territory, gasping in relief. Zane dropped Michelle, leapt over the tape, and raised the flag over Audi's head in celebration.

They exchanged a proud smile, and Zane opened his mouth to speak.

"HEY GUYS! THAT WAS AWESOME!" Donny screamed, still on the other end of the amphitheater lawn.

Audi smiled at Zane ruefully, and he returned it.

"AND THE RODENTS HAVE TAKEN THE COCONUT'S FLAG!" Chris boomed.

"Does that mean we win?" Aaran asked, out of breath. "We got the first flag."

"Not quite! See, you captured a flag, but the Rodents were the only team to capture a flag AND avoid having their flag taken! So Rodents, pack your bags for the spa hotel! Coconuts, enjoy the cabins, and Urchins, see you at the elimination ceremony!"

With that, the sound system crackled out and died.

The teams converged by the bunks, some dejected, some happy.

"Not the best first challenge," Trent said sadly.

"Yeah, thanks to some people," George replied, glaring at Daquan. "Wait, there's only six here. Who's missing?"

Mila counted heads. "Has anyone seen Brittany?"

"Not since we split up to search."

"Maybe we should find her?" Mila asked.

"I saw her getting on a boat a while ago."

George glared at Daquan again. "You blew it, you go find her."

He sighed. "Whatever."

The tired boy picked himself up and walked to a canoe. With a dirty look at George, he began to paddle away.

"Okay," George said, as soon as the canoe was a mere dot on the water. "We're all voting for him, right?"

"I guess," Ana replied.

"He did blow it," said Meghan.

"We're agreed then," George said authoritatively, purposefully walking away. The rest followed uncertainly.

*camera pans to Daquan, who is climbing out of the canoe and approaching Chris's cottage*

Daquan quietly opened the door. "Brittany?" he called quietly.

"Oh well, I tried," he said to himself with a smirk. Before he could leave, he heard a quiet moan.

"Damn, you weren't kidding when you said you knew your way around a pole," Chris said from inside a closed door.

Daquan stepped closer, eyes wide. "And I also wasn't kidding when I said you're a thousand times hotter in person." Brittany's voice.

"We shouldn't be doing this. You're-"

"I'm what?" she said. She whispered something too quiet for him to make out, and the moans intensified.

Daquan stared at the cameras in disbelief.

*camera pans to the campfire, where Chris is putting marshmallows on a tray in preparation for the campers*

Daquan approached him. "Hey, Chris."

"What are you doing here? A little early, bro," Chris replied. "Aren't you the one that sniffed Brittany's bra?"

"You're one to talk," he muttered. "Anyway, I'm not stupid. I know my team is going to vote me off."

"What does this have to do with anything?" Chris asked, bored.

"I heard you and Brittany."

The host looked up, eyes wide. "What are you-"

"Don't play dumb with me. I heard you and Brittany. And the cameras did too. And unless you want the world to know about it, I suggest you listen to what I'm about to say."

*camera pans to the campfire, but now the fire is burning and the Urchins are seated on the tree stumps*

"Campers," Chris said somberly. "Today, you managed to suck on such epic proportions. I didn't even know it was possible to suck that much."

Daquan coughed, making Chris uncomfortably avert his eyes.

"Moving on, you all sucked a lot. Some of you more than others. And one will be leaving us, with no more chances to prove that they don't suck as much as we all think they do. My first marshmallow goes to... George. Bro, you're safe."

George caught the marshmallow, unsurprised.

"Ana. Meghan. You're safe too."

The girls caught their marshmallows, exchanging relieved looks.

"Jason. Mila. Here you go."

The remaining three all emitted confidence, staring each other down.

"And the penultimate marshmallow goes to..."

...

...

...

"Trent."

Trent grinned, then turned back to Chris.

"Campers, I only have one marshmallow left on my plate. There are two of you. One of you will be leaving tonight, never to come back, ever. Due to a shocking twist, the last marshmallow goes to..."

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"Daquan."

"WHAT THE HELL?" Brittany screamed. "CHRIS?"

Daquan are his marshmallow smugly, watching the scene.

"Sorry Britt."

"YOU SAID- UGH!"

He shrugged. "You know what? FINE!" Brittany stood up, marched over to Chris, and smashed his lips to hers. She held him for a good five seconds before releasing him. "Take me off this goddamn island."

He led her to a glass tank by the water, where Fang the shark bared his teeth. "Meet your ride!"

"Are you- I don't even care."

Fang hopped out, and she climbed on. "This was hell. Thanks, Chris."

He winked at her, and shoved Fang into the water. "Mush, shark!"

Brittany became a dot as Fang sped her across the water, dragging her under and leaving her spluttering loudly.

CONFESSIONAL: DAQUAN

Daquan: All I had to do was threaten to tell the rest of the campers that Brittany banged Chris. She'd be immediately kicked out for "unfair advantages" and chances are Chris would be fired. Can't have that, so he had to say goodbye to his precious Brittany. And now I have time to redeem myself.

CONFESSIONAL OVER

Chris stood on the edge of the dock. "How about that for dramatic? Will Daquan redeem himself? Will George forgive him? Will Zane, Audi, and Donny be the next love triangle? Will I get any more beautiful? Find out next time, on the next heart wrenching installment of Total... Drama... Mayhem!"

*credits roll*

**VOTING CONFESSIONALS:**

George: Daquan lost us the challenge, and he's annoying as hell.

Mila: Daquan did blow it...

Meghan: I guess Daquan?

Ana: Daquan. No doubt.

Trent: Sniffing girl'a bras? That's just wrong. I vote Daquan.

Jason: Daquan.

Aidan: My team wants Daquan gone, so I guess...

Daquan: Chris will have to agree. It's his head. I vote Brittany.

**Seven votes Daquan**

**One vote Brittany**

**Eliminated**: Brittany

Urchins: George, Daquan, Mila, Meghan, Ana, Trent, Jason, Aidan

Rodents: Audi, Zane, Donny, Jeremy, Juliet, Sarah, Eric, Drake, KT

Coconuts: Pizza, Aaran, Michelle, Kayla, Seth, Finn, Ian, Morgan, Wayne

**Author's Note: Hope you enjoyed! I love feedback so please review! See you next time! Thanks again to Wish I Was a Pirate for beta reading:)**


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